


Sisyphean

by kalliel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s04e20 The Rapture, Episode: s10e20 Angel Heart, F/M, Family Angst, Gen, Heaven, Horror, Judeo-Christian Mythology, Metaphysics, Minor Canonical Character(s), Mythology - Freeform, POV Minor Character, POV Third Person Omniscient, Season/Series 04, Season/Series 10, Storytelling, family don't end with the Winchesters, myth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-04-08 02:32:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4287390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalliel/pseuds/kalliel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angels are aureoles and those aureoles have teeth.  On those teeth snag prayers.</p><p>Jimmy Novak fic. 10x20 "Angel Heart" tag.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sisyphean

With the last of all composing Jimmy Novak in this world, Jimmy Novak puts a curse in Castiel's ears. 

You see, humans are mostly made of magic, magic and saltpeter; and at the moment of his dissolution Jimmy Novak becomes the words of a curse.

You will never hear her, he says. You will never hear her prayers you will never find her you will never take my wife. Castiel has promised already he will not touch Claire; not again. And now, he cannot hurt Amelia. 

The way Jimmy Novak imagines it prayers leap from their whisperers like deer, and Heaven help the ones that truly find their angels.

As Jimmy Novak emanates upward toward Heaven, shaped not at all like a deer, he catches a glimpse of the Angel Michael, the Angel Lucifer. Seen from above an angel is nothing more than an aureole, and Jimmy understands then why God does not answer human prayers. Everything looks very small from this angle.

But angels are aureoles and those aureoles have teeth. On those teeth snag prayers. If Jesus had a crown of thorns it was crafted in the image of these haloes.

Heaven was crafted in the image of Illinois; and in 2008 the housing market is crashing there just like it is back home. 

There is a Culver's down the street. 

Jimmy finds Heaven funny, and then sad. He has never seen the ocean he will never see the ocean.

When the wind blows, he can hear Amelia's voice, her prayers unanswered. (I'm sorry, my sweetheart, but it is for the best, it is for the best if Heaven does not answer your door.) For six years, which is very many strawberry-oreo sundaes and not too many oceans, he hears her prayers, misdirected. He listens to her rave, and rage, and weep and weep and weep. He curses his curse. He's not sure where he learned to fall on swords, over and again. But perhaps he and Castiel have that one thing in common.

Before angels there were gods and before gods there were, perhaps men. Whatever the age, however, a curse has always opened one too many doors. Palindromes, poorly named.

You will never find her, Castiel, Jimmy Novak promises. 

He waits in his house and pushes marbles up ramps--Claire's science project. He thinks, it would have won awards, if only he'd been there to drive her to school. It's only seven minutes, two miles, four stop signs. 

That's all--he just needed to be there to drive his baby girl to school. He just--

Claire? 

Jimmy Novak hears Amelia's voice. She is not weeping.

_Claire!_

Then Amelia walks through Jimmy Novak's open door.


End file.
